2019 Jackpot
  • 1st:  $696
  • 2nd:  $290
  • 3rd:  $174

INTRODUCTION

No time for shenanigans? Here's the quick version: Each team chips in $20 and picks 20 celebrities they believe will die in the upcoming year. Each celebrity is assigned a point value based on how many teams picked that specific person. For instance, everyone seems to feel that Zsa Zsa Gabor's number is up, so her point value is very low. People die, points are accumulated, and at the end of the year the three top teams split the moolah.

 

TEAMS

One person playing alone or fifty people playing a single roster together--either way, you're a team. For everyone's safety and comfort, no specific player names are ever posted on the site or shared with any third party; we'll always refer to players by either their team name (which you choose) or team number (which we choose). Team names are often morbid in nature, but that isn't a requirement.

A team can play more than one roster of celebrities, but points from the varying rosters will not be combined into one grand total. Each roster is a separate entry.

 

CELEBRITIES & THE DIRTY DOZEN

Points are only awarded to bona fide celebrities. For our purposes, a bona fide celebrity could be anyone whose death is specifically mentioned in a news article or unpaid obituary from at least one of the following new sources:

  1. ABCNews.com
  2. CBC.ca
  3. CBSNews.com
  4. CNN.com
  5. CTVNews.ca
  6. FoxNews.com
  7. LATimes.com
  8. NBCNews.com
  9. NYTimes.com
  10. Time.com
  11. USAToday.com
  12. WashingtonPost.com

That's it. That's our criteria and nope, it's not flexible. It doesn't matter if your celebrity's death generated a million tweets, made the cover of the Rolling Stone or resulted in a national day of mourning. If it passed unnoticed by our Dirty Dozen then, sorry, you're out of luck.

When submitting a team roster, please include a very brief description of any not-so-famous entries. Even if it's just an occupation, it will help tremendously in researching (especially in the case of generic names).

Celebrities must be specifically named. No "that old guy from that one show" entries, please.

Should a dispute arise, the Final Word rests with the Cash4Cadavers staff. We also reserve the right to let the players vote on disputes.

There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quo...

BART THE BEAR CLAWS: (Claws? Clause? Har har.) Animals can be played on Cash4Cadavers assuming that they meet the criteria for "celebrity." Specific, named animals (like Morris the Cat or Bart the Bear) only; none of that "world's oldest tortoise" crap. If you want to play the world's oldest tortoise you'll tell us its name, Poindexter.
THE McVEIGH RULING: Scheduled executions do not count. If the government kills your celebrity, your celebrity will be worth zero points. However, you can play death row celebrities, perhaps in the hopes that they'll commit suicide or killed by a fellow inmate; upon their scheduled termination, however, you'll get a nice warm cup of jack squat.

 

THE SIAM CAVEAT: Conjoined (a.k.a. Siamese) twins will only count as one roster entry. You can play conjoined twins but, as their deaths are so often near-simultaneous, you'll only get credit for a single death.

THE MILLER MORATORIUM: Celebrities classified as MIA can be played, but receiving points is tricky: If their bodies are found and positively identified, the official-yet-approximate time of death must safely and unquestionably fall within the current year's game. If Jimmy Hoffa's corpse surfaces, his time of death would have to be this year to be worth anything.
THE SHUMAKER DEFENSE: When a roster is submitted, the Cash4Cadavers staff valiantly attempts to verify all celebrities are still breathing. Teams won't get to replace any dead celebrities they submit on their rosters, though; if you include someone who's deceased, you simply won't get points as they won't die this year.
THE SHEMP AMENDMENT:  Each player submits a 20 celebrity roster along with one alternate. If a celebrity on the roster is alive when submitted but dies before the game starts, the alternate will take their place on the roster. Once the game is underway, remaining alternates are erased and points will not be awarded for their deaths.
SCHRÖDINGER'S PARADOX: Shortly after a game ends, obituaries are double-checked and the prize money is split up. The game is then considered closed and retroactive points will not be awarded for any missed deaths. The Cash4Cadavers staff tries to read every daily obituary but ultimately it's the player's responsibility to notify us when someone dies.

POINTS

Celebrity point values will be determined by the following breakdown:

BONUS: There's a 25% point bonus if your celebrity is either a murder or suicide victim. This will have to be clear and unquestionable; Tupac Shakur was murdered, but Whitney Houston didn't commit suicide.

 

WINNING

The pot will be split among the teams with the highest scores at the end. The split will be:

The game ends on January 9th at 11:59:59 AM Pacific Time. In the event of a tie, the winner will be the team that had the most actual deaths; if that ties as well, the team with the first death (earliest chronologically) will win. The winning teams will receive their funds through PayPal or check.


PLAYING

Anyone wishing to play must submit their team roster(s) by 11:59 PM PST on January 9th. Note that our game begins on January 10th, not 1st; We do not accept late rosters. Don't procrastinate!

From December through January 10th of every year, the "Play" section of the site will feature an online form to accept rosters. Team antes can be submitted either via PayPal or snail mail.

Further questions or comments can be directed to MGT@CASH4CADAVERS.COM

Updated 12/2013